This is a long profile just to warn everyone as it gives information about me and what i am seeking as well as giving some information about my past. i am only seeking Dominantβs with experience please.
About me
Hi everyone, my name is isabella or bella either is fine with her. i am 33 years old, born and raised in Glendale, AZ. i have a kitty who is an orange tabby, and he means the world to me. He is my emotional support and helps me when i really need it. His name is Kai Tenchi, and he is 3 years old. To give you an idea what that name means i will tell you. For Kai there are 2 different languages, and they have different meanings. For Scottish Kai means Fire and for Hawaiian it means Ocean. Then for Tenchi that means Heaven and Earth in Japanese. i like to think that he is both an angel and a demon depending on how he is behaving as they are opposites in a way. Anyhoo, i have been in the lifestyle for 9 years and while itβs not been easy it has allowed me to discover myself and grow in a way i never knew could happen. i would have to say personality wise i am very friendly, cute, sweet, loving, thoughtful, very loyal, a good listener, stubborn, strong willed, i can be wise, silly and romantic. i will be doing a section dedicated to my vanilla side. Then will do one for the different sides i have. Then i will be talking about what i am seeking and finally a little bit about my past. i do apologize in advance i suddenly got a lot of creative inspiration and wrote more than i thought i would. Please read it as it will help you learn more about me as a person and as a submissive.
Vanilla me
Hmm, there are a lot of things i would like to do or at least think about doing. i would like to travel someday to Japan as i am fascinated by the culture. i am curious about the festivals they have, especially the Cherry Blossom festival if that is such a thing. To see the cherry blossomβs bloom would be a sight to behold. i am not sure about the food for Japan as most of it is seafood which is not something i particularly like. Hmm for another wish is to see the ocean again to smell the salty air, to feel the warm sand between my toes and to look out to what seems to be endless ocean. i would love to go Horseback riding on the beach to feel the wind in my hair and eyes lighting up feeling happy. Those are a couple of dreams i have. Itβs been a long time since i have last been on a beach and i miss it. The other things i love to do is do puzzles on my phone. i like doing either Jigsaw puzzles when i feel like it or cross-stitch color by letter which is my current obsession. i have been doing anywhere from 3-5 a day. i continue doing them even when my hand starts hurting. When my arm starts hurting that is when i stop and rest my arm from the continuous strenuous activity such as that. i like different types of food depending on what i feel like. i like baking when i have the chance. i went to Culinary School for 2 years and i did end up dropping out but i never lost that passion. To see whoever eats my sweets eyes light up smiling as they scarf my food down. i can cook as well as long as i have a recipe. Somethings i dislike are loud noises as i have sensitive ears and some frequencies hurt my ears. Growing up i disliked my dad playing his guitar. Itβs because the frequency of the guitar, especially the acoustic, was hurting my ears. my parents always said i was exaggerating but itβs simply the truth. i also hate being yelled at as it genuinely will hurt my feelings and i will likely flinch. i donβt like being startled as that is another thing that will make me flinch and it will cause me to let out a growl of either annoyance or anger. In a past job i worked in a call center. At the last hour most days everyone would yell out Power Hour signaling close to the end of the day. Each and every time that would happen it would startle me badly and i would get very agitated as it would disrupt me while i am working especially if i was on a call. Thus, i hate being started. i hate being ignored and being abandoned. i donβt like being ghosted as that has happened a lot as well. i think that is it. i will move onto kink me and explain my different sides.
Kink me
i will be upfront that although i have been in the lifestyle for 9 years most of the time i have been in toxic or just bad relationships where i did not learn a lot. i know through experience that i am a little, a pet specifically a puppy, a masochist as i like ***, a submissive the freedom of just serving my Dominant and at a time i was a slave. i have had some training as a slave and was a slave for almost 2 years for my Ex-Master. Due to the trauma i experienced, unless i 100% trust my Dominant i will not be a slave. Now to start my little side is still unknown to me in a lot of ways. i know i like stuffies as i have a bunch of them. i am happy to say i just got a new one that my protector in real life Master Dennis who is well known in the Community. He is my protector and Papa. He is actually the first one i have ever truly trusted instantly. We have a very special bond, and He will always have my best interest in mind. i have a very strong feeling that my little is very young. i estimate the youngest is 1 year old and the oldest is 4 years old depending on how i feel. i also have a feeling it might be a little younger only because i was at random points in the past babbling to myself and numming on something. i like being cuddled against someone while doing my color by number and showing my hard work. i am not sure how i feel about diapers. i am a little curious but it would depend on the Daddy in question. i like paciβs as they are soothing to me but i wonβt normally keep it in my mouth for long as i tend to spit it out. i like chewing on things as itβs another soothing thing for me. i tend to speak baby talk as a little as it helps me feel comfortable. Now for my pet side as i said i am a puppy. i donβt know a lot about my puppyβs side. i know she is fiercely loyal to the ones she chooses. she sometimes likes squeaky toys depending on how sensitive she feels. she loves getting attention and will likely demand it often. she loves doing tricks for a treat as she is a sucker for treats, especially if they are pieces of steak, cookie or a cracker. she likes playing fetch with a toy and brings it back when called. Although sometimes she likes just sitting as she is being called with mischievous hazel eyes refusing to listen making you get up. When you get up, she will back up and run to avoid being caught. she might hide somewhere if she can and once, she is caught she will likely not want to give the toy up unless she is made to submit. she can be a brat but is very loving at the same time. Now for my masochist side. i will only briefly go over this side. i do not know my full *** tolerance. i can take a beating just not sure how much. i recently went to an event where i let beginners use a flogger on my bare upper back. i relaxed into it as an experienced person demonstrated. When a beginner started i was so relaxed, even giggling a little just going through the motions not bothered at all. i even pouted a little as i was told to let someone else have a turn. Anyhoo, i know i love *** as i will get off of it easily. Now my slave side i donβt wish to go over at this time as again i still have very bad memories associated with being a slave. If you wish to know i donβt have a problem with sharing in a DM. Now for the last side i do have a feral side which is a wolf. That side is my protector, and she will only come out if itβs needed. If she comes out when she is not needed, she is cautious of the person she interacts with as she only wants to keep the human side safe. Once her trust is gained, she is very friendly and approachable, but donβt expect her to submit easily as she will be required to be ***d to submit to fully acknowledge her Alpha if he is an Alpha. she will fight anyway she can. i have never tried that in real life, only online through roleplay. i am wanting to experience that with the right person. i think that covers all my sides. i will be listing a website that will allow all her kinks to be listed and viewed easily. i will put it at the very end. If you canβt see it let me know. Now onto the next section
What i am seeking
* i am seeking a Daddy, Owner and possibly an Alpha again if itβs possible. i would love to speak to someone who has knowledge and experience with BDSM.
* i want someone who is taller than me. i am 5 foot 4 with dark brown eyes and dark brown hair just to put out there. i want him to be older than me in his 30βs and potentially up to mid 40βs. i would love to find the one who i want to grow old with and possibly have kids. i am not sure if i will ever be ready for kids but i want that at least be open. i would prefer he does not have kids.
* If he is out of state, i would like him to potentially relocate to me. i have anxiety and i donβt know anywhere else out of Arizona. i canβt think of moving out of Arizona where i canβt see my family as my family is here.
*i want him to be patient to know that i have my insecurities and it will take a while to settle. i rather he be okay with being only with me. While i know poly is amazing or at least it could be amazing as it depends on the people in the relationship, iβm not sure if itβs for me. Maybe it is if i have a solid enough connection first.
* i want him to be okay with cats as i will not give up my baby boy for anyone as that is non-negotiable.
* Would prefer he be secure in himself as i want to have someone help me with everything i am going through and to be my rock. To help me learn how to manage myself and to have someone i can be dependent on.
* i want to find someone who will accept all of me, the good and the bad. Who will support me, not abandon me and who will have communication every day throughout the day. i work from home and can easily talk for hours unless i am absorbed on a call.
* i want someone who will be fine with my little ages as i know there are not a lot of Daddyβs out there who want someone so small.
* i want to feel safe, loved, cared for and most of all know that he will always be there. i have been ghosted a lot in the past. Recently i spoke to someone for 6 days and felt like i had a connection on Discord and he unfriended me for no reason. i felt so hurt and crushed before i was able to move on.
Now onto my past
As i said, the last 9 years have been hell and back for me. Most people i have been with hurt me in some way. Some more than others and others less. It caused me to mistrust people and i so desperately want to trust and be accepted. i have so much love to give if given a chance. i do have a funny story to tell everyone. Itβs funny in the beginning and becomes sad towards the end just to warn you. i actually regressed years ago at a little conference in California called the West Coast Jungle Gym. i got to let out my puppy side a couple times and had a lot of fun. After i was with my Ex Master at the time along with his little. We went to a casino and i regressed. i think i was maybe 2 years old, maybe a little younger as i was giggling a lot. i wanted to hold hands but they did not like to hold hands and had to deal with holding their elbows. i was sad about that. i was pointing to things a lot. i knew my adult mind was in the back. i just felt safe enough to let myself out and it all was triggered as i chewed on a lanyard. They made sure i did not wander away and kept me close. I gambled a little, only $20 and had fun. That was my first time doing something like that. i came out of my headspace naturally later on. i told my Ex-Master and his little how i felt and the little nearly attached me in the McDonald's wanting to rip my hair out and feed it to me. After that i was scared to let my little side out. It took a long time even after i left them to even let out my little side. What i experienced in that relationship was the worst i have ever experienced and i hate that with passion. i canβt change the past but that one instance i wish i could just prevent myself from going through the ***. That relationship with the ex-Master and the little who for the first year i was with was trying to learn to be a Domme. i was her pet. At the end of the first year i was thrown away as she wanted a male puppy and did not want me. That is why i hold a grudge and canβt seem to let go. my Ex-Master hurt me just as much if not more. Even after everything i have been through i still want to hope, to love, to serve, to want to be needed and cared for. It shows how strong i truly am as i have never just given up even though i wanted to so many times but deep inside of me something refused to give up. i am still so eager to learn more about myself and who i really am. To grow into myself more and to find the one i want to be with. That is why i donβt give up and i never will. i have come close a couple times and at one point a part of myself after leaving those 2 was missing for a long time. Now i am here still seeking a Daddy, someone who will actually want to get to know me. The real me hidden underneath the barriers i put up to protect myself. i hope to find you soon as i am not sure how much longer i can be by myself.
